«Life», existence in the twenty-first century

  «When you grow up, your heart dies» - Ally Sheedy, The Breakfast Club.

  I've mentioned earlier the survey where children using the Torrance Test of Creative Thinking were shown to become less creative the older they get. I can attest to that and more.

  My childhood is very clear to me. I can easily recall events and see patterns of development.

  My friends then were pretty okay for a long time, but then, as they became adolescents and adults I noticed distinct changes. It wasn't just that they became less imaginative, but also that they were less prone to be critical and open, and less the great, exciting creatures they once had been. And they turned less friendly towards those breaking free from the mold. Modern existence… got to them. It got to me, too, I know that, but not to the same extent. We drifted apart, and I have hardly any contact at all with them anymore, and worse: every time I meet them, they look at me as if I am a leper or something, as if there is something wrong with me. I've learned well to recognize that look behind the polite exterior. There is nothing there anymore, no spark, only the force-fed information, the propaganda of that before mentioned modern society.

  Like most people they have become functions of expediency and practicality and hardly anything more. I shudder in horror.

  No horror film has ever scared me much and the reason is clear: we exist in one, one much scarier than any fiction.

  Something needs fixing and it is not children.

  «Dreams can’t die, but they belong to the night» - Amos Keppler, Dreams Belong to the Night.

A bubble in the world

  We rested in bed afterwards, making out at a slow, languished pace, enjoying each other’s skin and touch. The night almost turned into morning before we fell asleep. Days and nights flew away, until we were forced to leave the real world and return to the fake and ugly.

  Sis and I began dressing the same. We aren't twins, but are born in the same year and attended the same class, so it became quite visible. We dyed what was blond and brown hair black. By using the same makeup we very much resembled identical twins. And we stayed together more. A lot was implied by our behavior, even though we weren't obvious about it. We were very aware of how what society and the public would do if the truth was revealed.

  I've always been quite fond of the nonverbal method, at least to a point. We revealed it without revealing it, and we turned our proud face at the world, and the world disliked a lot. Today’s society doesn't appreciate pride in general and when pride comes from breaking one of the most extreme taboos there is the world becomes seriously pissed. We thought we were prepared, but our optimism was quickly exposed as the ivory tower it was.

  Time passed and even if there were lots of ugly stares and bullying we dealt with it with a superior arrogance. Those judging us didn't know for sure, but the suspicion alone was sufficient in their eyes. That is often so. We hadn't been bullied before, but now we were. Tove called it «our new Era. To us that new era had a beyond positive connotations, because we were together. The bad and downright ugly stuff didn't really matter that much compared to that.

  People have, completely serious told us that we are at fault, that we are to blame, and that we can’t expect being treated differently when we «behave the way we do». In our darkest moments we agree with them. That’s the true horror of bullying. It makes its victims question their very core. We know intellectually that those being treated badly aren't responsible for people’s cruelty, prejudice and intolerance. We know that stupid laws and silly morality gaining support long before we were born have or should have nothing to do with us. But doubt haunts us. We are, like everybody else a product of the society we grew up in, and shame has been beaten into us from an early age.

  We left our home and hometown as soon as we possibly could, and moved to the big city and student life. We did so willingly, «voluntarily» because we were finally fed up, but in truth we couldn't have kept it going for much longer. Now, we hardly hide ourselves at all and enjoy that immensely.

  We live in sin and incest and it feels great beyond words.

Stop shop - the world

  In November four Norwegian women made public an idea, an intended effort.

  «We’re sick and tired of being slaves of the fashion industry».

  Their aim is to not buy new clothes (in Norwegian) for a year, unless they’re absolutely necessary.

  All such initiatives are worth applauding and supporting.

  Buying new clothes only because those a month old are perceived as outdated is truly one of the more insane acts in this world.

  Say no to the consumer society. Say it loud and clear.